Right here we go…. (deep deep breath)… I guess I should somewhat describe what the blog is going to go into, a bit about myself and my struggles.
It’s took me a lot of courage to go ahead and put my story on so many online platforms, I’ve learned over the years on how to act towards this and how much it can help someone else, because at the end of the day we do not know what some other people are going through.
I deal with a lot of problem – anxiety, depression, ocd, eating disorder – so mainly this blog is going to be like my own book but a self help to others (i hope so anyway) I mean even if It doesn’t I’m not going to get down, I just feel it’s something I thrive off of, having inspirations and having someone to almost look up to.
I have had anxiety for what seems like A LONG ASS TIME. So bare with me as I hit the throwback machine and get myself into a comfy position.
So grab your cuppa and biscuits – whatever munchies really, enjoy the read because this is gonna be one longggggg ride…
Ok ok here we go, so I guess il start from when I knew about my anxiety, I always had this problem with deep breathing like I felt I couldn’t catch a breathe, I always got told to stop doing that, or like why do you do that, unbeknown to a lot of people – me included – that was me taking a panic attack or should I say having symptoms of anxiety.. this started at 14!!!.
As I go through this blog I am really going to zoom in on timescales , issues etc etc so I might miss out parts but that’s o I can properly describe it to you all in some other areas also.
Anyways back to the blog … can you see I go off tangent a lot , imagine how I am when I get into a conversation I explain my life in 2 seconds . Anyways for what seems like a long time it really has been a big part of my growing up having dealt with a lot of mental health issues and not knowing exactly what was going on in my head.
I suffered until I was 19 nineteen before I got any sort of help from anyone, so for a whole 5 years I was in the dark, whilst dealing with issues such as bullying, not having friends , hating school, going through different stages with my weight.
I just couldn’t wait to know what I had, and I guess for some that might be what you need, sometimes I feel I need to say it to myself in order for myself to really understand what it is, I read a lot up on each topic because again then my mind can register exactly what is going on and how I MYSELF can help.
Because remember it’s YOU whom helps THEMSELF!
So as we can see I’ve had anxiety for 5 years, dealt with a lot of childhood trauma before I got anything , I remember the ocd kicking in I used to see it as if I had some things sitting a certain way then when someone walks in they are going to see it as perfect so therefore it masks my own problems.
It never can, remember they will always come back until they are set free because you don’t deserve those thoughts no one does.
I’ve suffered with eating also since I was at school, school age I was rather on the up side to be fair than the lower scale, I done everything wrong with dieting , I used to skip meals and just smell food so then I would feel like I was eating , years years down the line it led to me having baby plate for portioning and running miles on end to burn it off.
I then had the dose of depression , know when I say dose I’m not saying like oh I had a little taste for a few weeks and then left it, no I didn’t I just had bad episodes then good ones – if there is a good – days where I could handle myself , days I wanted to bury in a blanket , but it’s something now at age 25 I can safely say I’ve not had a black episode since last year!
Don’t get me wrong , I’m on anti depressants, I do a lot A LOT of self help, read a lot of law of attraction books, mindfulness, journaling I’ve had therapy, yeah they all HELP me but they don’t CURE me, I only cure myself by taking those things I’m doing deep down and process them.
Anyways I guess il leave this blog here, I’ve kind of touched a bit of my past, I mean if I done the whole thing it would be classified as a big old book.
So until next time honeys xx
PP Pretty Personal 