Ok, so as we go into this new week we are all about mental health awareness week, so i have decided to dedicate this week to telling you and talking through my experiences with mental health.
So without further a do – or due, we go forward.. lets start with anxiety.
Ive suffered with anxiety for GOSH yonks! Like I couldn’t pin point when i think i have actually not had anxiety, except like toddler years. But since i was maybe end of primary/ start of secondary I’ve really suffered with … anxiety.
Like i feel almost everyone in there life now goes through some sort of anxiety, like being nervous for an interview or nervous to start somewhere new, all comes under being anxious, but what I’m talking about is severe anxiety , where my HEAVY BREATHING used to be classified as you might have asthma, or why do you put your hands on your legs for a breathe, when really that was the deep path to the start of a wild panic attack.
But yeah, so confusion with anxiety and being told i was just overthinking it, can you imagine where my anxiety was at from such a young age.
Always feeling unworthy,feeling down, feeling lost, feeling like i was never going to fit in, all made me panic & get extreme fears of doing almost anything, i always used to compare myself to others, always used to wonder why I wasn’t the pretty one, like what would happen if i could rewrite my story and be one of them – present me now thanks thar this could never happen because I’m glad to be the person i am,
Anxiety for me was a dark cloud when i didnt know if it was going to rain or thunder, hail or snow, i just had to wake up and get up listening to those same old feelings and thoughts.
I guess getting bullied from p6-s3 then again in my later years, always made me question my worth, which led me to carrying this baggage for ALOT OF YEARS!. I could never make friends, never really can now, I sometimes get heart palpatiations at the thought of someone new in case they don’t like my personality.
Anxiety is the demon no doubt about it, but let me tell you this..
YOU CAN TAME IT DOWN.
Now when i say this, anxiety or mental health of any sort will never fade, you will just learn to grow with it and how to cope also. But you can be the person you want to be, actually YOU will be!
I genuinely believe if i didnt suffer anxiety I don’t think i would be half the person i am now. I don’t think i would have the personality i do now.
Anxiety may feel like the demon, worse days that others, but you can also create an anxiety angel, one where it looks at how anxiety has created you and taught you.
My experience with anxiety, is lifelong, its horrible and represents. Slug with how long it take for it to pass sometimes, but I’m thankful for the lessons i get to teach myself every day and for the person i have became.
My experience with anxiety is summed up in here, but this is the start of my story. You tell your own.
PP Pretty Personal 