My Experience with DEPRESSION

So as we follow on from this weeks theme, sharing with all of you som of my personal stories and how my experience went with them.

So tonight’s blog post is on how my experience with depression was/is.

Again, where did this begin I don’t know? I was in the mix of dealing with anxiety, OCD & an eating disorder that half of it was going unnoticed.

I started getting very self worth, hopelessness , didnt want to here feeling a, i was feeling my self slump into this very bad mindset, that i just let flow into my life like it was to happen.

I use to let it affect absaloutly everything in my life, i used to let it affect friendships, relationships, work , uni anything.

I remember taking on some work with the uni – i became a secretary, an this is when it really started coming to light, i would always make excuses as to why I couldn’t go, why I couldn’t do x y z that i ended up loosing that position, nd all i thought was they are talking about me, hey hate me. When they didnt they just didnt know the truth.

I guess the worst of it really came when I finished UNI and went to my first accounts job, oh boy i hated it i just done it to look as though i was doing something with my degree, but i hated sitting at a desk, doing nothing because I’m such a fast worker that I worked through everything so fast i had nothing to do so i used to just sit and spin on a chair.

I had to get out there and out there fast, i was dealing with slight regret at the same time because in my previous job whilst i was at uni i became a manager and they were wanting to promote me even further but i thought nothing of it and thought i must go do something with my degree.

So i was dealing with regret, not knowing what i wanted to do, couldn’t get into anything, lost all hope for everything and just felt bleugh, it was a black cloud that was never lifting, it just kept coming and coming and coming.

I never liked anything i done i just got new job after new job in the hope it wou fill a void, even though i had therapy to talk issues through, i was trying to do things but it never worked.

The only thing could actually make this better would be if i got myself into a good state and actually ask what i wanted to do.

I went through some tough years after this, having like a spell o good months then a bad one , i was trying to find myself but I wasn’t ready, i had bad thoughts , bad day so just wanted to run away.

It was that bad i thought it was going to be the end of me, but then I found light.

My experience with depression was no more….